I’m sure I dream very regularly, but remembering a dream is a special occasion.  Last night was indeed a special occasion moment.  I had dreamt that my family and I were in the city of Paris, roaming around the day before our departure thinking of where we should go for the last time.  It felt so familiar to me, even within the dream, but I could not figure it out.  Finally I awoke in a dark room due to my oversized curtains hiding any sunshine that may penetrate my window.  I felt very odd for no particular reason.  So I had dreamt that I was in Paris; Paris is a beautiful city and anyone would dream about going there.  But something about it felt so real but I could not place my finger on it for a good 7 seconds before I realized something.  I had just come back from a 3 and a half month stint in Paris for study abroad.  My world felt surreal at the moment … and still the feeling drops by unexpectedly.

September 8th 2010, I landed in Paris to start the most meaningful experience I would have up to that point in my life.  Was I nervous?  Yea why the hell wouldn’t I be.  Was I fearful?  Absolutely, because I had never ventured outside the confines of my family and the United States of America before.  I was simply alone in a foreign land with nothing but my iPhone and fedora, and even those two things would eventually leave me.  But soon enough, all feelings of apprehension disappeared.  15 minutes into arriving at my destination, I met a friend.  This affect snowballed exponentially as I arrived to school.  Security and happiness had replaced the feelings of fear and anxiety.

Now I’m not going to sit here and list all the amazing things I did and saw while in Paris, and I assure you they were AMAZING, because that’s not the point of this post.  December 20, 2010 came at a blink of an eye.  I had slowly forgotten about my life in Carrollton, TX and my studies in Austin, TX.  I had become so accustomed to the routine of my life in Paris and the people I saw at a regular basis, that I felt as if I was once again saying goodbye to my family and the confines of a secure home, jet setting to a foreign place where I would feel alone.  It was the cultural effect of studying abroad.  I had been warned but I didn’t take it too seriously.  But after having to say goodbye to the wonderful people I had met, one by one continuously, I would rather have relived the worst moments of my life repeatedly.  I’m a sensitive guy no doubt, so knowing that having to say goodbye could potentially mean never seeing these people again crushed my heart.  That is why I repeatedly tell myself, “It’s not goodbye, it’s just ‘see you later’” But it happened, and eventually I was awake and at the corner of Rue de Reuilly waiting for my shuttle to take me to the airport. 

I flew for over 10 hours and finally arrived at the DFW Airport.  The next day I woke up and did exactly what I had always done when home.  Suddenly, Christmas arrived, and now New Years.  I sit here on January 3, 2010 feeling perplexed about this dream I had about my family in Paris while having this weird feeling of familiarity with the place.  The harder I think the more blurry my memories get.  3 and a half months of the most memorable part of my life is hazy, and the more I try to grasp onto a memory the faster it gets away.  But maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be.  Maybe it was just a dream…